How do you know you are really a mom?

One word....poop. (Feel free to stop reading right here.....it will only get worse.)

Call it what you will. Poo, poop, #2, a BM, dropping the kids off at the pool, doodoo, a stinky. They are all the same thing. And every person I know that doesn't have kids has no idea how I, and every other mom I know, can throw that topic into a conversation so easily and frequently. Every person I know who plans on having kids says that they will never talk about their kids poop, or any poop for that matter. Especially not in public. Where people can overhear you. And NEVER EVER in a place where people are eating or drinking.

LIARS.....I call you all liars. I defy you to find a mother that has not talked about and analyzed what comes out of their child's rear end at some point in their mommy-life. It can not be done. There is some switch that gets turned on (or off, I guess, depending on how you view it) when they pull that bloody, screaming being out of you. You just can't help it. The nurses and doctors ask you about it every day when you are in the hospital. You have to count the number of dirty diapers your baby has for the first few weeks. You are asked about its appearance. You get the message that this stuff is important. You need to be checking this out. Hell, even Oprah had a whole show on poop.

So this has been my life lately. Getting my baby to poop. This was never an issue with my other two. Things have always been quite regular in that area. But with Sam, I am having daily conversations with anyone who will listen to me about whether he poops, how often, what it looks like, if it it a struggle for him. Because of his acid reflux, we were told to put rice ceral in his bottle. As any mom can tell you, this stuff does not help babies go to the bathroom. Which is usually why you are allowed to start giving babies water and fruit when you start feeding them cereal. While the cereal has been helping to keep his formula from being spontaneously spewed down the front of me, it has also been slowing down his intestines, thus causing him to be quite uncomfortable most days.

So today I placed to poop call to my pediatrician. Help me get my child to poop, normal baby poop, without screaming with belly pain. I am now in the cocktail phase. Bottles will now contain varying amounts of rice or oatmeal cereal and prune juice, trying to find the magic mix that helps the food stay down and the poop come out.

Just in case you are contemplating having kids. You should know what you are getting yourself into.

Poop. Lots of it.