Monday, August 17, 2009

Mommies Never Need Watches

It is true. Completely and utterly true. If you are a mother, you will never need to wear a watch again. You will have this insane ability to tell time without so much as a glance at the clock. I finally figured this out today, after four and a half years of motherhood.

I can tell you what time it is when I wake up, or rather, am awoken, in the morning simply by opening my eyes. If I can wake up easily when I hear my children talking on the monitor or opening my door, then I know that it is 7 am, give or take 5 minutes. This does not happen very often anymore. If I am struggling to even open them a sliver, but can see the sunlight, it is 6:10 AM. My kids always wake up at 6:10 AM.....I have no idea why their little circadian rhythms have selected this time as the perfect time to interrupt my bliss. But 90% of the mornings, this is the time that they wake up and are ready to go.

I can tell you when 10:30 AM is coming up. My kids start to get cranky, they are at each other more, they whine more, and they are getting on my nerves. It is time to eat. They MUST have a snack mid-morning. My children are absolutely unbearable when they are hungry. Seriously unbearable. It is like the transformation into the Incredible Hulk. Once they are fed, they turn back into these sweet, normal, even charming individuals. The same thing tells me when it 12:00 PM. Lunch is a comin'......and they better get it as close to noon as possible or the beasts will return.

And the worst time of day....5:00 PM. I swear my kids have some chip implanted in their brains that sets off fireworks at 5:00. They could be playing so nicely together, building with blocks, doing a craft, make believe, whatever. But come 5:00 it all goes to pot, and suddenly my house is a whirling dervish of screaming, crying, whining, hitting, pushing, and flying objects. Today I knew it was that fateful hour when I looked over at my son half-laughing, half-crying as his older sister chased him around the room while stomping him on the head with her Barbie. Yup, Barbie = weapon at 5:00.

And I know when it is 8:00 pm. My house is quiet, calm, and getting put back together. All children are asleep (hopefully for the night), and I am finally starting relax a little. I have suddenly gotten my second wind, and no longer feel like I am falling asleep every 10 minutes. I can relax, and revel in the fact that we all made it through another day. I can eat dinner, have a glass of wine, put my feet up, and read a book.

A day in the life of a mommy.....always on time, no alarms necessary.

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