Monday, February 1, 2010

Gone Baby Gone

I have officially lost my mind. Lost it. It is so far gone, I have no idea where to begin to look for it. I truly discovered this fact this past weekend when I was out running errands with my daughter.

I wasn’t feeling great, it was ridiculously cold outside, and they were calling for snow. But I promised Georgia I would take her to the party store to pick out stuff for her birthday parties. So off we went after lunch to pick out Barbie everything for the glorious bounce-fest we are hosting next weekend. We went through the store, got what we needed, and walked outside to find cars and road covered in snow. I was desperate for a cup of coffee, so I decided to go to the Starbucks drive-thru on the way home.

Now since it was snowing pretty hard and colder than the tundra, there was quite a line. Fine, I could wait. I was not getting myself and Georgia out of the car for coffee when we could be cozy and warm. So after about 5-6 minutes I am the next car to pull up to the pick-up window. I see the cashier hand a cup to the driver in front of me, and suddenly I have giant brain fart. HUGE! What did I order? Did I order? Do I just order and pick up at the same window? Mind you, I have been to this one before so I am familiar with the process......and it is the same as EVERY OTHER FREAKING DRIVE-THRU ON THE PLANET!!!!! It isn’t rocket science, right? Pull up to Charlie-Brown’s-teacher-sounding speaker, tell face-less voice what I would like, drive around to funny folding-door window, give cashier (who now has a face) money, and receive hot caffeinated beverage.

But somehow that was WAAAAAAAYYYYY to complicated for my brain that afternoon. It hit me that I never put down my window to order anything. I sat in my warm car, mindlessly staring at the menu, trying to figure out whether a grande coffee with non-fat milk or a tall skim latte was better for me (by the way, there’s an app for that), and then I just drove on by. It didn’t hit me until I was about to pull up to that window to NOT receive my drink. And I was so flabbergasted that I just pulled out of line and headed home. Without the necessary caffeine, and now wondering if I had the brain capacity to operate heavy machinery.

There are all these articles about “baby-brain” and how new mothers walk around in a fog, forgetting little details, No one tells you that when that child is pulled out of you that it is COATED IN YOUR BRAIN CELLS!!! Yes, COVERED! And you will never, ever get them back.

This is all well and good for people out there with one child. I have three......THREE! Which means I am about 10 brain cells away from a paramecium. You know, those single-cell organisms in your 6th grade science books? The ones that never did anything but waddle around covered in tiny little hairs?

That is me.

So I guess what I need to know is if anyone out there has some marbles to spare, cause I seem to have totally lost mine. Anyone?


  1. Are you a monkey?

    Are you afraid of snakes?

    Do you like bananas?

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