Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Birthday Georgia!

My Georgia,

This letter is in honor of your fifth birthday. FIVE! You are finally five, and you looked forward to that day for so long. Like something magical will happen over night and, suddenly, WOW! life is totally different, perfect. At least for a five year old.

You are such unique and truly magical girl. I love every little thing about you. You are so smart, crazy smart, and I have no idea how that little brain is able to come up with the questions and things that you say. You make me have such a great sense of humor. And you are kind, even to Noah, as much as he drives you crazy. I see how much you love him, and know that you would do anything to take care of him and Sam. You are a wonderful big sister, and both of your brothers’ eyes just light up when you are around. They want to be just like “Jaja.”

I can not believe it has been 5 years since you were born and I set off on this wondrous journey of motherhood. They have been 5 unbelievably amazing and challenging years, ones that have taught me more about myself than I ever thought was possible. When you were born, I was so excited to be a mommy, to bring home this little girl and give her all the love in the world. And oh, how I love you.

Georgia, with this and every other birthday you have had, YOU have given ME the most precious and unexpected gift. You have made me a mother, mom, mommy, momma. I thought I knew what that was before you were born, but I really had no idea the depth of meaning in that title. And what an honor it was to have it bestowed upon me. You are my first child....the one who has to figure out this motherhood thing with me, who has to put up with my learning curve, my mistakes, my fumbles. And for that I apologize. You deserve a mommy who knows all the answers to the mind-boggling questions you have, who doesn’t yell, who can handle whatever life throws at her without freaking out.

But I also think that our relationship is so special because we are learning how to do this together, stumbling down this mother-daughter path, holding onto each other, and trying not to get too lost. When I think of us, I often go back to the word of a song that I listened to when I was pregnant with you, imagining what was to come.

My First Child by Nil Lara

I have a song

Growing inside

I've seen the response of God in me

Coming to life

Kicking me strong

Draining my blood

You're my first child

I'll show you no harm

I'll teach you my love

Waking at night

Wanting caress

I'll keep you warm beside my bed

Together we'll rest

Deep in your sleep

My body's your glove

You're my first child

I'll show you no harm

I'll teach you my love

Smelling my skin

Feeling my face

I'll feed you each and every time

You cry into space

Holding my hands

Clutching my heart

You're my first child

I'll show you no harm

I'll teach you my love

Growing away

Taking my soul

You're my first child

I'll lose you someday

To some other love

Oh, how true these words are. I will savor each and every day that we have together, before you grow up too much and realize that your mom is not cool, you want to be dropped off down the street, and you are texting on your cell phone non-stop. Those days will come too soon, and I am sure they will make my heart ache.

But right now you are still my little girl, my FIVE YEAR OLD little girl! (FIVE!!) And I will continue to treasure you and all that you still have to teach me about being a mom.

Thank you Georgia, my first child, for giving me the most important job I will ever have. I love you so much.


No comments:

Post a Comment