Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Happy Birthday Sammy McSam

Sam, Sam, My Sam I Am......Happy First Birthday!!

(And first, may I say, I am sorry to you, my third child. I feel I will perpetually be behind on things for you. I apologize for it in this instance and for all future occurrences.)

What a truly amazing year this has been. Amazingly fast, crazy, emotional, wonderful, challenging, and rewarding. And you, my little munchkin, are amazing in and of yourself.

It is hard to believe that a little over a year ago our lives were absolute insanity. And then you came along, and it got a little less insane. Oh, it got crazier for a while, finding a way to fit a whole new person and routine into our lives, but because it was YOU, it was also calmer.

Sam, you are truly a miracle for me. In many, many ways. When I got pregnant with you, I was so nervous. Having just been through a miscarriage, I was terrified that something, anything would go wrong and I would lose you. I didn’t feel at peace until you were born and I was holding you in my arms. Only then did I believe that my body was okay, that it wouldn’t necessarily fail me forevermore. That maybe I was healed. Miracle.

Then there is your totally laid-back personality. You could have been a colicky baby, one who never slept, one who needed to be held all the time, one who would have thrown this home (and this mommy) into complete chaos. But you weren’t. You were the baby that makes people want to have ten more babies, that thinks they CAN have ten more babies. You didn’t even cry during your diaper changes in the hospital. You would sleep peacefully in the kitchen while your brother and sister ran by screaming, or singing, or banging a drum. You are the only one who will sleep anywhere, anytime. In the car, stroller, my arms, my bed, naptime, after skipping a nap, late bedtime, whatever. Nothing phases you. And a couple of weeks ago when I decided to see if you would be okay without a bottle, you gave it up without even a peep. So now we are done with bottles. Easy-peasy. Miracle.

Sam, you are evidence to me that there is a God out there, and he or she really doesn’t give you any more in life than you can handle. With all of the craziness and uncertainty that we already had in our lives, I don’t know if my sanity would have survived a so-called “difficult” or “high-maintenance” baby. I really think I might have cracked. I got so lucky, I had a baby that barely even cried. Miracle.

So Sam, for your first birthday I say thank you for the amazing gift that you have given to me. You. You came along at exactly the right time, showing me that maybe there was a little lemonade to come out of all those freaking lemons that life was hurling at me. You’ve been so easy, so low-key, taking whatever comes your way. Maybe you just know that, as the third child, this is your place in the family. You will forever be following in the footsteps of your bossy older sister and very loud and always running big brother.

Maybe one day you will find your voice and start telling me, “No” and hitting your siblings. But maybe, just maybe, you will stay mellow, quietly observing everything and everyone around you. Looking up and giving me that sweet little grin before going back to playing with your blocks, or other favorite toy. Only time will tell.

But for now I say Happy Birthday Sam I Am.....thank you little man for being the most amazing gift I could have ever received. I am eternally grateful to you.

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