Wednesday, June 10, 2009

So we are midway through the week and the drama just keeps coming. After teasing me with a halfway-decent night's sleep Monday night, I was rewarded with another crappy one last night. Sam actually did awesome. We have upped the Zantac dose and added rice cereal to his bottles, in addition to switching him back to the regular formula. All of that has led him to sleeping 5-6 hour stretches at night. So this has been a huge step in the right direction, and has helped me get better quality sleep, even if it is still only 6 hours a night.

Last night Georgia was the thief again. She woke up at 4:30, just as I was finishing up with Sam's feeding. She was crying and complaining of leg pain, which I attributed to growing pains. She came into bed with me, and eventually we both fell back asleep for about 45 minutes. But when she woke up, she still had the pain and she refused to walk on it. She actually fell down when she tried to stand up. So instead of going to the Philadelphia Zoo today, we went to the pediatricians office and finished up at the hospital with some bloodwork. They think she has some inflammation of the hip that happens only in kids after a mild viral infection. But they also tested her for lyme's disease, and that test will be back on Friday. Hopefully, it is just the first thing, and it will clear up in a week or so.

So with all of this added craziness this week, I have been a little on the edge. Of many things, actually. The edge of insanity, of uncontrollable crying, of exhaustion, of letting all the pieces fall to the floor.

And so I say a HUGE "thank you" to all my friends out there.

Tonight, after dinner with a great friend and her kids, I felt a little more at ease with where things are right now. We still had some stress and chaos getting through bedtime, but I felt like I had things much more under control. Or at least I had myself more under control. And I realized what a wonderful gift I have been given with the friends I have in my life. Spending time talking with a true friend is one of my most treasured "me" time activities. And it has to be a friend that I can just let it all out to, the good, the bad, and the really ugly. I don't have time anymore in my life to be worried about what a "friend" is going to think of me, what I did, what I said, or what I am feeling. I spent enough of my teenage years worrying about that crap, and my time is too precious now to waste it on people that judge me. Tonight I happened to have some great conversation in my own kitchen, with kids thankfully entertaining themselves in the playroom. But it doesn't always have to be in person, sometimes a half hour phone call to someone I haven't talked to in a few months is the best therapy out there. I love the ladies in my life that live far away enough that we don't really get to see each other much, but I know are there for me unconditionally. And after an hour on the phone it feels like we just saw each other last week, like no time has passed at all since we were hanging out having a drink together. Even the friends that I mainly talk to on Facebook have been a godsend some days. The fact that someone has commented on what I am dealing with, offered advice, or just some words of encouragement is a lifesaver. I am truly thankful that I have been able to reconnect with some treasured friends from my past through this network.

So I guess after all of this rambling, what I really mean to say is that I love my friends. I really do. My family is awesome. And some of my family members are also some of my closest friends. But the people out there that have come into my life by chance, these are the ones that I am grateful for tonight. The wonderful women out there who put themselves out there for me, who support me, encourage me, comfort me. I thank you all for the unbelievable gifts you give to me. I don't know how I would make it through all this crap without you all.

And to Dee, a special thanks. You have become an amazing part of my that I can't imagine not having ever again. You have become a part of my family. Thank you for all that you do for me and my kids. We really appreciate it. And I hope you know that you will never be able to get rid of us now!

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